I had the honor of being asked by my great friend, John Lowery, to be the guest speaker on his Master Mind Blog Radio Show…I seriously was blown away at this opportunity.

I was interviewed by John and was able to share a bit of my life’s story and about a new program I recently created, called “The Stress-B-Gone” system through The Health Fix.

I can’t wait to get your feedback, so when you get a chance tune into the replay of the radio show and let me know your thoughts.  Click HERE to listen in.

Thanks for all your love and support!

There is a pull from deep within, that’s often unexplainable and makes me nervous to share aloud.

It’s the feeling every time I pick up a book on spirituality, learn more about a Holy Book, or different ways to heal physically, emotionally and spiritually.

It’s the feeling I get in the pit of my stomach and the center of my soul, that feeling of exploration-to further uncover that which I know is my True Self.

It’s the feeling I get when I visit the Abbey.

It’s the feeling I get when picturing what living at an Ashram would be like.

It’s the feeling I get when I journal.

It’s the feeling I get when I blog.

It’s the feeling I get when I meditate.

It’s the feeling I get when I practice Yoga.

It’s the feeling I get when I read Hafiz, Rumi, Deepak, Erich Schiffmann, and many more.

It’s the feeling when I have deep conversations with my dearest Jana Fleming or attend her retreats.

It’s the feeling I get when I walk into a health food store.

It’s the feeling I get when I smell insence.

It’s the feeling I get when I listen to Wayne Dyer or Oprah’s spirituality series on podcast.

It’s the feeling I get when I share with someone a tool that could help them.

It’s the feeling I get when I dig my toes in the earth, touch a tree, or smell a flower.

It’s the feeling I get when I look up at the stars, see the sun set and moon rise.

It’s the feeling I get when I see Tibetan prayer flags waving in the air.

It’s the feeling I get when I’m at a Kirtan.

It’s the feeling I get when I see, hear or read anything in Sanskrit.

It’s the feeling I get when Skylar brings me random feathers-that seem to be all around us ALL the time. (angels)

It’s the feeling I get when I wake up and find it hard to work but would rather read all day.

It’s the feeling I get when I want to be in silence with no technology clouding my world.

It’s the feeling I get when I am at church.  (Unitarian Universalist-my spiritual home, THEY ROCK, just sayin)

It’s the feeling I get more and more each day…it’s exciting yet scary.

So at this point in my life it’s just about finding some sort of balance…seeking more of that feeling without negating my “householder life” as Deepak calls it.

Love the journey.

~~~Om Shanti~~~

So I’ve hesitated writing this or publicly sharing such an intimate story that’s really help change the course of my life and also shed light on life like never before. But then I was reminded of the Persian poet Rumi when he writes about the ‘Open Secret’ – he says that each one of us is trying to hide a secret – not a big bad secret, but a more subtle and pervasive one. It’s the kind of secret that you and I keep from each other every day.  You meet an acquaintance, and she asks, “How are you?” You say, “Fine!” She asks, “How are the kids?” You say, “Oh they are great.” “The job?” “Just fine. And you ask that person the same questions and they reply exactly the same. It’s perfectly innocent banter; each one of us has every day. But it usually isn’t an accurate representation of our actual lives. We don’t want to say the kids are failing in school, our work often feels meaningless, or that the marriage is crumbling. It’s almost as if we are embarrassed by our most human traits. We don’t want to appear weak, sad, self-absorbed and we don’t want to go into the gory detail with everyone we meet; we don’t know each other well enough. Better to keep under wraps our neurotic and nutty sides (not to mention our darker urges and more shameful desires.) Why wave the dirty laundry about, when all she asked was “How are you?”

Rumi says that we hide the secret underbelly from each other, then both people go away wondering, How come she has it all together? How come her marriage/job/town/family works so well? What’s wrong with me? We feel vaguely diminished from this ordinary interaction, and from hundreds of similar interactions we have from month to month and year to year. When we don’t share the secret ache in our hearts – the normal bewilderment of being human – it turns into something else. Our pain and fear and longing in the absence of company, become alienation and envy and competition.

So with that allow me to air my dirty laundry – one that I have been carrying for almost a year now.

The morning of October 11, 2009, a beautiful fall day started like every other day. I had no clue how my world would be rocked forever and really many of the lives around me as well. Living on a small piece of property that my husband and I had saved for and finally acquired. It seemed like my fairy tale had finally came true. We hosted many a bonfires,  and social gatherings, birthday parties, this home has a retreat-ish quality people could come and just be with nature, enjoy the quiet and relax in the sanctuary of the country setting.

I opened up my home to one of my best friend’s at the time while she was in a difficult place in her life. My thought was … hey we have plenty of room out here in the country and that is what I love to do help the downtrodden. It’s a part of my Dharma my purpose here on this planet. How may I help – How may I serve?

My friend and I had started that morning of the 11^th by meditating in nature by the water – like I said it was a beautiful fall day but quickly turned dark and stormy. Upon returning home I was taking care of some chores and got a ‘hit’ – that is what I call my ‘intuition’ kicking in!  I was moved to go to my sacred space where I do yoga and meditate and what I walked up on was my husband on top of my best friend in a very intimate way. My heart pounded, my stomach ached and my head felt like it would explode! My nicely packaged life in that moment came to a screaming halt!

I didn’t want to believe what I was seeing, HELL I didn’t want to be seeing what I was seeing much less admit that I was actually seeing it – was my eyes playing tricks on me? Was this was really going on-please God NO NO NO!

IT HAPPENED and life will be forever changed for the BETTER…Yes, that’s right, for the better.

Now That It’s Out…Now What?

A bit a history: For those who have known me since October of 2008, I’ve been interested, fascinated and can’t stop studying the Yogic philosophy.  I am actually studying now to be a yoga teacher. It’s something I’m forever grateful for being introduced to by Jana Fleming at her A Journey To Wholeness Retreat.

I had learned skills at that retreat to embrace and heal emotions that in the past I would just ‘check out’ from.  You know eat over, drink over, shop over! But this time I actually stepped right into the storm and allowed the emotions to emerge and take the form they needed. I made sure my kids weren’t present – I made sure I was safe and no one would be calling the police to the crazy lady in the country LOL.  I took a sledgehammer to my husbands 1957 Chevy Truck and dented it to no return.  I wrapped random pieces of metal fencing around the tree as I hit the trunk of the tree letting my anger out screaming obscenities.  This anger process went on for hours while my dad stayed watching from his car in the driveway; he was just making sure I didn’t burn down the house or hurt someone or myself.

My Dad was a great support that day for me – he allowed me to do what I needed to do without making me wrong for it!  So as the day ended I shifted from this place of pure primal rage to a place of confusion which eventually turned to clarity.  I wasn’t sure what  my life would look like after such tragedy happening.  Would I be able to trust this man again? I was confused if I wanted to stay with this man or not.  That was the only confusion; the clarity that arose in this situation was due to all the amazing tools I had been shown by my teacher, Jana Fleming At Jana’s retreat and through her peronally coaching me I didn’t stay in the victimhood and rage filled place for very long. Sure I could have got into the ‘story’ and shared with everyone eliciting people’s sympathy.  I could have stayed depressed, thinking to myself, “oh poor Sharla,” “why do these things always happen to me,” “I can’t believe they’ve done this TO me,” But NO … I took responsibility for my piece – opened to the quality of willingness and began asking “what are the lessons my soul needs to learn here?”

I learned I can either stay in my self-limiting story which will perpetuate more of that same story or I can choose emotional freedom. So I chose the latter and today I can say I have been broken and battered by life and each time like the mythical birth, The Phoenix I rise from the ashes and become transformed by the experience. I have tools now, and I know as my life’s journey continues more will be shown.

Here are the Lessons I’ve Learned

Once I explored the quality of cheating, of dishonesty, of betrayal. I saw that those qualities are ones that I had been doing to myself. The writing was on the wall – I could see many of these traits in my husband. But most importantly both he and my friend allowed me to myself in their actions. I had been cheating myself – I had been lying to myself – I had betrayed myself and this is the greatest lesson I learned.

So here are a few pearls of wisdom ….

1. Trust your intuition!   I actually knew several weeks prior to this incident that it would happen and I shoved that impulse of knowledge down, disregarded it, because I was betraying myself – cheating myself from trusting the one person (ME) that will always be here for ME! So listen to yourself – get quiet and cultivate silence so that you don’t betray your most precious self.

2.  Always take responsibility – there were actions I took in the past that I feel at some level I attracted this into my life. I take responsibility!

3.  Detach – be the witness of your experience – have you ever felt like you were being watched? Learn to watch yourself. Again I learned this from Jana through meditating.

4.  Be Willing! The opposite is stubbornness! – Be willing to see things differently – A Course in Miracles calls that a MIRACLE – to see through new eyes.

5.  Love yourself first and foremost. You are a manifestation of the Creator – to love accept and value YOU is the greatest gift you can give to the world!

6.  Embrace negative emotions – they won’t kill  you I promise. The faster you step into them the faster they dissipate. What you resist persist.

7.  Have a powerful support system – my Dad came to my aide. Not to rescue me – but to hold space for me. He watched over me like an angel. I am a blessed woman to have this loving father. Count your blessings if you have family and friends and great teachers in your life to help you when you are down.  Be sure to tell them how much you appreciate them!

8.  Be AUTHENTIC -  as Rumi said we all wonder if life has meaning and worry and fret over things we can’t control and often feel overcome with a longing for something that we cannot name. For all my strengths I am also an insecure and vulnerable person, in need of connection and reassurance. This is the secret I keep from you and you keep from me.

This is the great power – my OPEN SECRET. When my heart is undefended I make it safe for whomever I meet to put down their burden of hiding, and then we both can walk through the open door together in this journey called LIFE.

Namaste (I bow to you)

p.s. I invite you to attend the next Journey to Wholness retreat in Florida – that I attended in Florida two years ago. You can find more information here: http://www.janafleming.com/a-journey-to-wholeness.php

Be sure to watch the video!

I know I have given Jana Fleming so much credit here and I do so not from a place of putting her a pedestal but rather looking to her as a wise soul who has been studying spirituality and human development for years and she has had many teachers (Deepak Chopra, Debbie Ford, Marianne Williamson to name a few) that have shed light in her life so that she’s been able to pass that light onto me and many others and I’m ever so thankful. She has pushed me when I needed pushing and didn’t want to move, been a support for me to not wallow in self pity but rather to embrace my sadness and fears and move to action.

I want to say that I’m thankful Jana if you are reading this and that I acknowledge you for always being willing to be brave, admit when you are wrong, and share your soul (Dharma) with the world.

Also I would be remiss if I didn’t formally thank the friend and my husband for being some of my biggest teachers in the short time you have been in my life.

PS…I know this is a lot to take in.  I would love comments and I would love to hear you bear your Open Secret!  Thanks.

Brought to Tears

As I write this I have tears in my eyes after watching a simple short video, not even 4 minutes long of an old high school acquaintance climb this amazing, stunning even, snow covered mountain with her husband.  Their faces were filled with pure joy as they reached the peak and could see the entire world it seemed from up that far.

As I watched this video I took myself there, to talk in their shoes, to feel the open air on my face, to breathe the crisp air into my lungs and bask in the beauty of mother earth all around me.  I felt free, I felt wonderful, I felt refreshed, rejuvenated and nourished by nature moving through me.

Not even being there in “real” life I was able to mentally take myself to that place in that exact moment and feel nothing but FREEDOM.

So often I feel trapped, that the world around me can close in hard and fast with no where to turn, when really that’s so not the truth but only a deception of life that I have total control over.

Perceptions of Life

It’s so much easier to walk around with an entitlement attitude, that the world around us, that people around us-owe us something.  That it’s not our job to make ourselves happy or find freedom…

It takes energy, will power, determination and a conscious mind to change that perception of entitlement to a mindset of personal responsibility.

For me my soul is yearning right now to feel freedom, space, love and peace in all that surrounds me…even when there is turmoil my knee jerk reaction is to defend, to perceive that someone or something should act a certain way-when really I have no control over anyone but myself and my own thoughts.  I have to take responsibility for my own life in finding the eternal freedom, because it’s already there…it’s really just a process of uncovering the “muck” of life that’s clouded what the soul contains from birth.

“The amount of happiness that you have depends on the
amount of freedom you have in your heart.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Going Within and Without

Freedom to some is living with lots of money, big houses, fancy cars…to me freedom is that place I find every now and again within me when I feel connected to something that’s so much bigger than me-to Source.

That connection is always there, all the time…for me it’s just a matter of fine tuning my life, my soul, my mind to feel that connection more and more.

I can go into my eternal seat of wisdom, into my heart and feel the purse essence of love and joy, total freedom-so I know it’s there.  I find that the more simply I live and clear my life of materialistic things, I go “without” I actually have more of the feeling I crave so much.

I love going within to find more than I ever could on the outside.

We Have Everything We Need to Fulfill Our Hearts Desires

As I close out this post for today, I have to remind myself that even in my darkest hours, in trials and tribulations that I may face that I have EVERYTHING I EVER NEED to BE WHOLE, to live a FULL and PROSPORUS LIFE.  That boiling within me is a strong, vibrant, beautiful woman who can accomplish everything and nothing and I’m still a Divine Child of the Universe without question.

That this journey I’m on is nothing more than a huge university and my job is to learn what I can, while I can in this carnation and enjoy every moment of it.  That FREEDOM isn’t free there is a price to “pay” of taking full responsibility not blaming others outside of me for taking me away from  freedom.

NAMASTE

(The Divine Light in Me, Sees and Honors the Divine Light in You)

Where it all Began

As far back as I can remember I have found myself surrounded with thought traffic, noise from the radio or TV, or even the sounds of that horribly loud school bell-”telling me” when and where to go.

It seems that in today’s society we are inundated with jarring sounds all day long, unless you are deaf of course and then it’s just the thought traffic in your own head that might drive ya crazy at times.

For me, unconsciously I know I was afraid of silence.  In the silence was were my brain would go on turbo and seem to have a comment on anything and everything…even though I would get tired with it, the thought of being in silence was still scary to me because I think it was so foreign.

Begin to Get Quiet

It wasn’t until November almost 3 years ago that I approached this subject of being quiet, and I mean REALLY quiet.  I stepped into a Journey to Wholeness Retreat with Jana Fleming and didn’t have a clue what we would be doing, EXCEPT I knew and was overwhelmingly apprehensive about being in silence for 90% of the weekend.

I wasn’t able to fight the notion of talking, I talked off and on for the first day when I could…however, it wasn’t until my friend Kim and I were partaking in our second glass of wine (which was suggested we also not consume alcohol-we see how that went), that almost the exact same time both Kim and I said we really didn’t feel right talking or drinking the wine so we zipped out lips and got rid of the wine for the rest of the weekend.

For the first time in pretty much my entire life I was silent for near 48 hours, unless we were in the workshop and asked to participate.  It was a life changing weekend of silence for me that I will always remember…

The silence that we consider to be so “deadly” isn’t at all; in fact in my opinion, it’s “deadlier” if we aren’t silent once in a while to really examine our life, examine our thoughts, examine nature in all it’s beauty.  To shut down the tv, radio, turn off the phone, step away from the every so noisy social networks that clutter up our every day life most of the time.

So What’s the Big Deal with Being Silent

10 Ways to Stay Spiritually Connected

By: Marianne Williamson
Via Oprah Magazine May Edition

Weather you practice traditional religion or relate to a more universal spirituality, these steps will help you tap into a sense of unlimited pease:

1.  Recognize your creator. Think on this: There is a supreme power in the universe that is bigger and more powerful than your small mortal self.  This steps makes you humble.

2.  See opportunities to put more love into the world. Strive to be a vessel of love, to fill the world with more compassion and kindness.  This step makes you loving and lovable.

3.  Set aside time each day to spend in spiritual reflection and contemplation. Dwell in the presence of the divine: Your path may be to pray, meditate, read spiritual material, take a long walk through nature-or all of the above-but an optimum practice includes both morning and evening sessions of at least 20 minutes of each.  This step makes you strong.

4.  Become more accepting. With every interaction, surrender any tendency to judge another person.  Pray for a more accepting heart. This step makes you gracious.

5. Forgive anyone you have not forgiven. Whenever you withhold forgiveness, you keep yourself bound to your own feelings of guilt.  This step makes you kind.

6.  Recognize your mistakes. Admit where you yourself have been wrong and be willing to be corrected.  This step makes you responsible.

7.  Try to see the good in others. When you’re tempted to judge someone, make an effort to see their goodness.  Your willingness to look for the best in people will subconsciously bring it forth.  This step makes you positive.

8.  Take stock of your thoughts and behavior. Each night ask yourself, when you were negative when you could have been positive?  When did you withhold love when you might have given it?  When did you play a neurotic game instead of behaving in a powerful way?  Use this process to self-correct.  This step makes you grow.

9.  Bless the world. Pray not just that your own life will be blessed but that blessings be poured on everyone.  This step makes you beautiful.

10.  use each interaction to be the best, most powerful version of yourself. Try to rise to the occasion.  Be the most wonderful expression of you that you’re capable of.  This step make you a conduit of God’s love.

Don’t Do Something-
Just Sit There

Yes I know, this might sound contrary to what we normally hear, “Don’t just sit there, do something.” Well, last night I was totally inspired by the Twitter EpicChat conversation that really got me thinking about being in the flow and being spontaneous.  So lets chat for just a moment about this whole notion of NOT doing something and JUST sitting there.

The question was brought up, does it take planning to be in the flow of life?  Does is take planning to be spontaneous?  There are so many ways to look at those questions a a million ways to answer depending on who you are and where you are in life…but it just got me thinking and here are my thoughts.

I think that in this day and age, slowing down is not apart of most people’s daily regime.  It’s go, go, go, all the time from the time they get up to the time they go to bed.  I know myself personally can get this way and then I eventually awaken to realize I’m living life with very little consciousness-that I’m not in the flow of life and things are a “push” to get done.

It’s not that the flow of life ever went away or even slowed down, it was just that in a matter of sorts I turned away, didn’t recognize, didn’t tune into the flow of life that’s there to help my Divine Journey of Bliss.  It could be argued that some don’t have “good” flow in their life-that everything always goes wrong for them.  (I have a certain someone in my family that is much like that and sometimes I just want to ring their neck).  But even that “not so fun” flow is a flow, RIGHT?  Might not be the most desireable flow but it’s still there none the less.

How I Get In The Flow

You know for almost 30 years I never even knew there was a wonderful flow that’s “on my side”…it wasn’t until November of 2008 that I began a journey of self healing, learning tools that connect me to my highest self and Divine Purpose in life.  I began a regular practice of meditation which allowed me, for the first time really in my entire life, to feel that flow running through me, around me, and in every aspect of my life like never before.  So it wasn’t as if the flow wasn’t there-it was and is ALWAYS there-I just had to find tune my consciousness to even realize it was there and understand how to ease my way into that flow of ever so beautiful energy that helps me in every way.

Meditation to me is a fantastic tool and practice that helps quiet the massive thought traffic that really never stops, but meditation quiets that and allows me to heal, connect to Spirit, it imparts in me Divine Inspiration, allows me to have creative solutions, meditation has cultivated more patience and understanding in my life in every area of my life.  It’s not in meditation that all these things happen but most of the time in my every day life-the FLOW!

Everyone Get’s in the Flow a Little Different

So on Sunday’s my neighbors don’t ever work, not even a little house cleaning, no working on the yard, or even a bike ride…Sunday’s are set for day whole day of  Spiritual Worship.  My neighbors are of the Mormon faith and although that’s not my way of Spirituality there is something to the Sabbath concept-where they allow themselves to get closer to Spirit, they do nothing so that the rest of the week provides everything they need in this journey.

My father, I’m not sure that he has faith at all of the traditional sense but he is ALWAYS in the flow…he is a brilliant man who is super creative, works hard, has many many friends, tons of money, loves helping people and is just a great man.  However, he does “just sit there” a lot and I believe that’s why he has flow working in his life the way anyone would want.  He sits alone writing every single day of his life, not like in a journal like most but he prefers 3×5 index cards-just writes and writes and not just for a minute each day but ALL day long.  As thoughts come into his mind he takes a card out and writes.  He takes those quiet “just sit there moments” and really pays attention to what he’s guided to do or create by writing it down.  The flow in this man’s life is amazing and anyone can see it.

Don’t Fight the Flow

So many times it’s easy to speak about things that are comfortable-today is an open forum for the things we don’t want to talk about/think about and share it with the world-how therapeutic?!?!?!?!

I don’t want to talk about how I think I’m turning into a tree hugging hippie activist who wants to save the world once recycling bucket and blog post at a time.

I don’t want to talk about how I do not like radishes, collard greens or cooked salmon.

I don’t want to talk about how I cant stand that the government is so twisted sometimes.

I don’t want to talk about how I can’t stand when parents poison their bodies and the bodies of their children with toxic vaccines.

I don’t want to talk about how it pains me that my husband barley gets to see his boys that are growing up so fast.

I don’t want to talk about how some people think I should be a certain way because of who my parents are.

I don’t want to talk about how I wish my Nana was still alive and that I would have loved to have met my Dad’s mom who died before I was born.

I don’t want to talk about how I really get addicted to writing blogs and sharing from my little world to the rest of the world.

I don’t want to talk about how selfish I can be at times.

I don’t want to talk about how I secretly would love to have the ability to sing without breaking glass.

I don’t want to talk about the farm and wellness center I wish I was living on right now.

I don’t want to talk about how if I don’t meditate regularly that I feel like an angry out of control Tasmanian devil of sorts-or as Jana would call me-a bull in a China shop.

I don’t want to talk about how it hurts to know I’ve been cheated on and lied to on more than one occasion.

I don’t want to talk about how I think without my meditation and devotion every day I would probably be in a padded room or outpatient  facility.

I don’t want to talk about how I can’t stand at times how far away my real best girlfriends live.

I don’t want to talk about how at times I can’t stand to be around my dad.

I don’t want to talk about how much I regret playing volleyball professionally.

I don’t want to talk about how much I would go live in an ashram if I didn’t have any family obligations and responsiblities.

I don’t want to talk about how it pains me to see so much greed in the world and people that are self absorbed.

I don’t want to talk about how I think most people are super wasteful and over consume way too much.

I don’t want to talk about how I really would love to visit India & Australia.

I don’t want to talk bout how it pains me to see families close to me suffer from illness, disease, pain, accidents, negative situations over and over yet they are so unconscious they can’t see that they are apart of the reason they live that life and how easy it is to turn around in a more positive direction.

OK so there’s a good start, now it’s YOUR TURN.

Just start with the sentence “I don’t want to talk about________”

Be Authentic & Have FUN!!!