Perfect Imperfection
I remember back about 9 years or more and my life was miserably happy-yes I know that’s another oxymoron but it’s true. I was happy as long as the house was perfectly cleaned, and I mean perfect…I would work all day to come home to what the average person would say is a clean house-but that wasn’t good enough for me. I had to dust every day, mop and vacuum every day and I couldn’t leave the house, couldn’t go to bed or even just sit and watch a movie without the kitchen 100% clean. It was hard for me to ever relax because I drove myself CRAZY and everyone else around me crazy striving for this outward life to appear perfect when it was anything but.
I do have to give it up to my ex-husband, who was my boyfriend at the time who helped me begin to shift away from massive O.C.D. (obsessive compulsive disorder) to a place of more relaxation even if the house wasn’t perfect. This wasn’t a small feat at all; I was home from working a double shift and there were just a couple dishes in the sink that the roomies had left and I was pissed. Nick wanted to watch a movie and relax and of course I couldn’t until the dishes were all washed, dried and put away. He tried talking me out of the kitchen but that didn’t work…so he came in the kitchen and watched as I washed the dishes and just when I thought I wad done he would take the clean dishes that were in the drying rack and lick them all over so I would have to wash them again.
He did this until I said “F-it”…he felt like he’d accomplished his mission and I really hadn’t realized how huge this would impact my life to this day. We enjoyed a movie and the dishes waited for me until the next morning.
I Love Being a Messy Neat Freak Now
Did you know that Amish quilters will deliberately add a mismatch patch
to each quilt to remind themselves that only Spirit can create perfectly?
So now my life is totally different and it really all started with that kitchen licking incident years ago. I find myself in this place of balance that works for me where I’m not miserable any more. In fact some would say I’ve swung to the other side of the pendulum, without being gross though.
I find it so satisfying to not necessarily clean every day but let the house, my car, etc get just a bit messy and then clean it up…the difference to me is that I get to see something that’s dirty, messy, distressed, out of order and I am able to put things back in order, cleaner and it just feels great.
It’s much like restoring an old car for you men out there…you take something that has the bare bones, maybe some rust and you work on it so in time it looks totally different and you feel accomplished.
Jana taught me a Japanese Philosophy that I love and take with me in my daily life…it’s called Wabi-Sabi. Wabi-sabi is the quintessential Japanese aesthetic. It is a beauty of things imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete. It is a beauty of things modest and humble. It is a beauty of things unconventional…Finding Perfection in the Imperfections. Reminding us that nothing in the human world is perfect and the only thing we can count on is change and imperfection-WHICH IS PERFECT.
Have you ever had one of those moments in your life where you found something that wasn’t just perfect, but maybe it brought a great memory to you so you didn’t change it. I know people who have stains on their floor and they wont totally get rid of it because it reminds them of a pet who’s passed. Or perhaps that torn pair of jeans that reminds you of hiking with your good friend-that you just can’t part with. So it’s the imperfection that bring perfection in our lives and often wonderful memories too…
I have found that “anal retentive” part of me is for the most part drifted away and I really do relish in the imperfections in life. What a much more pleasant place to be…not having a anxiety attack if my hair isn’t perfect, if I can’t eat off my kitchen floor, or if I have laundry that’s piling up..but instead focusing on what’s great about all that and being able to see what’s really important-family, friends, kids, and ME (the real Divine me-not the superficial me who’s trying to keep up with the Jones).
Tell me I’m not the only one here…do share if you understand all this perfect imperfection!!!
