My world as I know it shifted yet again.
Facing my second divorce at age 31.
Now with two children, from two marriages.
It was hard to keep my shit together…as you can probably imagine.
I was the only income producing adult in the house, in debt up to my eye balls, with no alimony or savings.
To say times got really hard would be an understatement.
I pawned jewelry, electronics, sold furniture and would take on just about any client or side job I could to make ends meet, and they barely met.
I was robbing “Peter to pay Paul” as they say…my bills were never paid on time and the level of anxiety and pressure was mounting.
Not to mention, the sadness for my children not to have their family together…I knew I did the right thing, yet there was so much pain and sadness still.
Some would turn to drugs or alcohol, but there was no money for those things (thankfully I guess).
I ran to church, which was great but I needed more, something else…
I turned to the vibrations I would eventually heal to and thru.
They say music moves the soul, but for me it didn’t just move my soul, it healed it.
I spent countless hours crying and dancing to the sweet and holy tunes by Girish, who thankfully shared his gift with the world.
Girish’s gift of chanting/kirtan, became my daily church; with just a click of the play button I found myself connecting with the painful emotions directly, not avoiding the pain, but just feeling the depth of it.
I cried, cried and cried, letting the tears move slowly away from me, releasing the pain and sadness and eventually feeling peace once again.
Now you may not be familiar with Girish, chanting or kirtan, but I was no stranger to any of these things, yet I had no clue how powerful and healing music could be until 2007.
Diamonds in the Sun.
This song in particular I must have played a million times.
It pierces my entire being and takes me where I need to be, to this day actually.
Each day in my healing journey, I did begin to feel like I was a Diamond in the Sky…
That there were bright days ahead and that I could still win at life.
I became a Girish junkie. I couldn’t get enough of his vibrations, chanting holy names of God and scriptures.
Just listening to my iPod wasn’t enough, I wanted to be in his presence…so that’s just what I did.
I traveled to California and Nevada and was blessed to sit at Girish’s feet.
Humbled in his presence and brought to tears with almost every single song he sent into the ethers, each time I felt it was just for me tho!
Recently, I’ve gone through the most painful parenting experience and decision of my life….not ready to share just yet but…
Now, in 2017, ten years after my powerful healing through Girish’s music, I turned to him again.
This time I moved through the pain in days, not months…
As much as I love Girish, I had never checked out what Girish actually means.
You should also know that I have never loved the mountains, I seem to have had massive resistance to them actually.
I’m not afraid of mountains, but in regards to terrain, I seem to always be drawn to water over mountains any day.
Crying in my car last week, listening to Girish, I thought to google his name just to see what it meant.
As luck would have it, Girish means “Lord of the Mountain.”
And on this particular car ride, I was headed to my most loathed mountains in Georgia, so I could sleep in the arms of my lover and main squeeze. (he was there for the weekend)
The irony, oh the irony…I’m running to the mountains, which I hate, listening the healing vibrations of man who’s name is Mountain, which I’ve loved for years.
I let my guard down, I tried not to think of the mountains in the way I have for years…
I thought so myself, that even in the mountains, or concentration camps (like mountains often feel to me), healing is available.
That if we choose to heal, we can…
With whatever we need, wherever we want.
I’m forever grateful for this man, I will never be able to express the power of his singing in my life.
Thank you Girish.
Thank you for sharing your gifts, talents and passion with the world, with me and in my world.
You will NEVER be able to understand my gratitude for you.
I love and adore you Girsh and I look forward to sitting at your feet many more times!
Until then, I will enjoy every sweet song I can get my hands on!