Being Wrong is Right

I might have done it all wrong, but it was just right.

Regrets are non existent
Insights prevail to flow into the future.

From broken bones to broken marriages.
Moving beyond fear to freedom.

From narcotics to supplements.
Stepping out of the haze into clarity.

From drunken stupors to vibrant, energy filled moments.
Leaving behind hangovers and enjoying the naturals highs of life.

Feeling lost, insignificant, and co-dependent.
Now growing wings of strength that could fly through any storm.

Keeping my dreams a secret and my passion locked inside.
With a microphone I now shout to the world these desires of my heart.

I might have done it all wrong, but it was just right.

So thankful for my journey!

Yeah so that’s probably an obvious title for anyone who knows me and my past-that for sure Sharla is not a nun nor a priest in any way form or fashion.  In fact until a couple years back I wouldn’t have considered anything about me spiritual or religious, in fact quiet the opposite, I was pretty solid against those things.

After finding that side of me, that spiritual connection I never knew could feel so amazing I was “hooked.”  I’ve been devoted to my spiritual growth and devotion from that point on.  I remember my teacher at the time suggesting to me that I create an altar at home.  I kinda fluffed off the idea at first but then got really excited about it, as I felt it would help me focus each day, just a little bit, on my connection with the Divine-kinda like a reminder of sorts.

Well, this idea sounds fine and dandy but when you have two kids, one of which is a toddler, it makes it interesting finding a place where you can put anything that’s remotely nice or breakable where he couldn’t get to it.  Outside of that, my husband at the time thought I was basically jumping off the deep end and didn’t want anything “woo-woo” to be out in the open where he or someone else could see it.  So, I decided it was best to have an altar that was hidden from everyone and that I would only have out in the open when no one was in the house-HOW LAME.  It’s not like I was cooking meth or something, we are talking about a sacred space that I wanted to create to just be apart of my daily routine of being connected to source, to remind me how much love, joy and peace is accessible to me every day (and for those around me as well)…sounds horrible right?!?!?!

The Box

I began gathering things from the house and some gifts from my teacher that I felt were sacred and beautiful to me.  Instead of keeping them out in the open like I had hoped, I chose to keep them in a wooden box my husband had built me.  When the kids and he would leave I would bring the items out, meditate, then put them back in the box to appease my husband.

When my husband’s issue with infidelity occurred, I was devastated. It was my consistent meditation and yoga practice that kept my head on straight, that gave me the strength to work through all that mess and choose to work it out with him at the time.  Those sacred items might have seemed insignificant to anyone but me, however all the sudden I felt forever grateful for them.  Those items hidden in that box were what kept me grounded, sane, realistic, and unconditionally loving to a man who had ripped my heart out (or so it felt at the time).

After our attempt to save our marriage, we decided to call it quits.  I find it utterly fascinating that my husband had so much anger towards me that when I left for a couple days, he we right to my box and broke almost all my sacred items.  He hated the part of me that felt so great.  He chose to look at my spiritual path as what tore us apart.  He resented who I had become and was becoming, sad really.  I found my beautiful Tibetan singing bowl that an awesome friend had given me, it was shattered.  That was a brass bowl that was hand crafted and doesn’t just break-he had to have taken a hammer to it or ran it over with the car or something.  For a brief moment I was angry but within minutes that anger turned into empathy.  Empathy for a man who I love dearly and care for very much, that I know his anger isn’t towards me but comes from a deep dark place of pain from his past and I just happen to be the scapegoat-well my things were really the scapegoat-but he blamed me and took it out on my things physically.

Finally My Sacred Space in THE OPEN

“In order to stay easily and happily creative, we need to stay spiritually centered.
This is easier to do if we allow ourselves centering rituals.
It is important that we devise these ourselves from the elements that feel holy and happy to us.”
Julia Cameron

Although the transition to being a single woman and single mom again has had it’s ups and downs, I must admit that the freedom to express myself without hesitation is liberating.

Being able to create a sacred altar, much like nuns or priests do, has been an important part in my life.  Bringing together new items found and gifts given to me, keeping them out in the open, being able to see them all day long is a beautiful thing.  My altar of sacred things is apart of my daily life and spiritual ritual that keeps me open, growing, spiritually evolving and just it’s presence in my house makes me feel I live in a retreat.

So even on days when I have challenges or roadblocks this altar is apart of my process in moving through those times.  Who would have thought that a couple candles, pictures, stones, and figurines could play such an important role in my life but they do.

What do you have in your life that keeps you grounded, that helps you go through life a little bit easier?

Take it Off

There’s nothing to be ashamed of.  We have nothing to hide.  For everyone holds deep dark secrets that they think no one else shares, when really we all have that in common, yet at times are to asleep to realize it.

It’s like we are playing charades at times or wearing a mask; acting out something that we are not…pretending to be something we think will please those around us, to only hide who we truly are.

What if we took that mask off, what if we were able to step into the light no matter what quirks or idiosyncrasies we had and just live.  Without pretending to be something we aren’t, then we wouldn’t let anyone down.  And really when we are pretending the only person we are ultimately letting down is ourself anyways-so isn’t that the cosmic joke.

I know it gets tiring to wear the mask of something you aren’t.  Even if it’s a quality that doesn’t seem so positive, what if we could look at it as if it existed in us to serve us at times-that even though I don’t like people who lie, I too am a liar and would lie in a heart beat to protect my kids from harms way (I think any parent would).

So honestly when we look at all the things we hide in the dark-maybe this week we could just bring those things in the light…giving ourselves along with others permission to just be themselves the only way they know how-with no masks.

So if we ourselves decide to do this we must begin to accept everyone as they are with their not so positive quirks at times.  This doesn’t mean we have to be best friends with them or lower our personal boundaries of safety and well being, but it does mean to just look at someone who has their mask off and send unconditional love, possibly feel empathetic towards them, and just begin to take the “isn’t that interesting” attitude.

That someone doesn’t have to be exactly like us to be normal or “right.”  It’s our own individual birth right to choose how we act, who we associate with, what actions we choose to participate in, it’s our right to believe what we want to believe…however, it’s NOT our right to project those things on others.  FREE WILL baby, free will is wonderful.

So today what can you personally do to remove the mask, or maybe just part of the mask that will allow you to walk more authentically in life?  What can you do personally to drop your projections or judgments on others as well as yourself?

“Awareness is the greatest agent for change” Jana Fleming

There is a common excuse I hear a lot in regards to time, “I don’t have enough time to ___________.”  If this is you then you have used the same excuse that I and so many others have used at one point.  I believe this excuse is a lame one at best and here is why.

If we “rise above” and look at different sects of people…take for instance a group of people that live in a trailer park and take those that live in multi-million dollar high rise condo’s in NY-the standard of living is different but the amount of hours either party has in one day is NO different.

What is different is how either party uses those same 24 hours in a day to create a lifestyle that’s desired.  Now I used to live in a trailer park-so please know that I’m not knocking trailer parks or putting NY Condo-ed living on a pedestal, but rather merely pointing out that not one person on planet earth has more hours in a day than another-it’s all about how we use that time to the best of our ability to help co-create our life with the Divine.

Gitter Done- 12 Ways to Have Better Time Management

1. Get a Reality Check- This simply means for 7 days take a log of what you do in every hour, becoming aware of how you are currently spending your time is often the only thing anyone needs to do in realizing where they could be more effective or organized in their time management.

2.  Goal Setting-This is pretty obvious, but in order to get done what you would like to in a given day, week, month, year or decade, goals must be written down (they must be specific and have a timeline on when you would like to have it accomplished).

3.  Get Organized-This may seem like an item that’s easy to overlook if you don’t have a type A personality or have OCD (like I think part of me does at times), but getting and staying organized at home and in your work space is vital to saving on time.  Spending a half a day or more if needed to get yourself really organized is SUPER important.  You may need to get a filing cabinet, filing accordions, whatever you have space for to keep your paperwork in order.  Keeping the house organized with containers you can get at any department store and even Good Will, will help you not only get more done it will make you feel better and allow for your house to feel more spacious.  If you don’t have to find any paperwork or household item, this is a HUGE time savor and just makes you feel good. (which is very important in this process if you ask me-feeling good about what I’m doing)

4.  Get an “App”- Quite frankly it doesn’t matter if you get an app on your iPhone, blackberry, or use a traditional calendar, whatever you need to do to stay on track with your day to day schedule-USE IT.  Set reminders for yourself, alarms, use a white board, regardless of what you choose-just use something that jives with you and will help you manage your time.  You may have to experiment with different tools before you find what really works-but whatever you do keep trying until you find the one or combination of a few that really work for you.  (I remember I started with getting a palm pilot years ago-that didn’t work, then I used my computer-that didn’t work, then I used a fancy daytimer-didn’t like that either, but what ended up working and it’s what I’ve used for years is a simple small calendar and my cell phone to set reminders)

5.  To Do List- Making a daily to do list before your day starts is such a simple yet powerful way to make your day very productive.  I find making the list the night before is best for me, but maybe for you first thing in the morning would be better.  Regardless, having a to-do list not only helps you stay on track it is also a way to feel wonderful about the baby steps you are taking in getting closer to your set goals.  There is something to be said for having a check mark by an item as simple as “take the trash out.”  Again, reaching to a goal and having small “wins” a long the way will help you moving forward each day.

6.  Prioritize- This is a big one and it really helps to have a tool (like I mentioned in number 4) that helps you make sure your most important tasks are completed.  Make sure your put your to-do list in order of when things need to get done.

7.  Delegate/Outsource-Depending on what you do for a living and what your goals are, you may be able to delegate certain tasks to friends, family members or even a virtual assistant.  Obviously, it’s not good to abuse delegation but to use it when needed is always helpful.

8.  Say No- Wow this is a huge one for me that I’m still working on.  But learning to say NO to people when they ask you to do things that don’t fit in with what you need to accomplish on any given day, is not always easy but you will find history shows that people in this world who accomplish a lot in their lifetime have had massive focus and they say no to things, people and events that aren’t in alignment with their personal goals and to-do list.

9. Learn When You Work Best- Regardless if you work out of the home or in the home it’s important to become aware, if you aren’t already, of when you are most effective at tasks.  You may be a morning person and could wake up just a bit earlier to get your to-do list accomplished.  Others may find they hate mornings and would rather stay up an hour later to get things done…whatever time you are most effective would be optimal.

10.  Don’t Waste Time- Ok this one I KNOW I NEED TO WORK ON…but a lot of our day is filled with “wasteful” items that we could do without.  Life for instance, do you check facebook way too much, tweet all day long, and if you work from home do you clean when it’s really time to work, get up for snacks/cigaret breaks too much.  There are small things we do with our time that could be illuminated to allow us to accomplish more poignant tasks.

11.  “I-x-nay on Multitasking- Yet another one I need work on in my life…Multi-tasking I think in our society can be looked upon as wonderful, and at times I believe it totally serves us in healthy ways.  But often times in our work career multi-tasking takes up too much time and actually slows down the process of actually finishing a task.  So unless multi-tasking is necessary do you best in completing one task before going to another.

12.  Reward Yourself- I think setting big rewards and mini rewards for yourself as you accomplish your to-do list and goals is VITAL.  There really is no point in working so hard at getting something done if there isn’t a reward in the end.  I think you can do something simple to reward yourself, this doesn’t have to be some big fancy celebration but find small ways that you know you will enjoy-don’t wait for someone else to recognize your accomplishments and pat you on the back-it will be an added bonus if they do-but treat yourself to something nice, even if it’s a long walk, buying yourself flowers, going out to eat at your favorite restaurant, etc.

You are Divine Regardless of Your Time Management Skills

Creating an environment and system for yourself that allows you to have great time management is a journey-a work in progress.  So when beginning this journey allow for some time for you to get int he groove and find what really works.  I honestly took over 3 years to find what really works for me and I’m still working on a couple areas I find I’m not strong in…

As a friendly reminder we aren’t our work, we aren’t the trophies we have, or the awards that are hanging in our office…we are Divine creatures of this beautiful Planet Earth regardless of any goals we may or may not accomplish, the to-do list doesn’t have to be checked off for us to feel love for ourselves.  So be gentle with yourself in this process and allow for review of what’s working and what’s not working and modify where you see fit.

I believe this next year there will be so many people that are fed up with where their life has been that they want to jump into massive change-which isn’t a bad thing-but beating ourselves up is not optimal for sure.  Good luck on your journey of getting more accomplished in your life that you would like to achieve.

Remember:  You are worthy of success, You are worthy of greatness, YOU ARE DIVINE inside and out just the way you are RIGHT NOW!

“There’s a silent killer that stalks America.  It’s called, “rustout” and it’s far more deadly and scary than burnout.  Sure, burnout can wear down your body, but rustout can wipe out your soul and your spirit.

Rustout is the slow death that follows when we stop making the choices that keep life alive.  It’s the feeling of numbness that comes from always taking the safe way, never accepting new challenges, continually surrendering to the day-to-day routine.  Rustout means we are no longer growing, but at best, are simply maintaining.  It implies that we have traded the sensation of life for the security of a paycheck…Rustout is the opposite of burnout.  Burnout is overdoing.  Rustout is underBEING.”

(Richard Leider & Steve Buchhoz, the Rustout Syndrome)

Move Into Your Life’s Fullest Expression

So that we don’t RustOut or become complacent in life what can we do?

1.  Write down a few ways you can stretch yourself for a good cause this next year.

2.  Write down who’s life is inspiring to your own-pick something you would like to emulate from that life and bring into your own.

3.  Write down what you have done in your past that helped you to live fully…maybe this is something you want to re-impliment.

4.  Write down what challenges you have been facing that you are willing to face, work through, and overcome this year.

Finally, acknowledge yourself for being Divine, even without doing anything-for that is our true nature.  Although I believe it’s important to acknowledge our own duality of Divine and the Diabolical I want you to know that you are worthy and beautiful inside and out even without making this list or moving into your fullest expression of life.  HOWEVER, I do know how exciting and bliss-ed out it can feel to live on purpose and with meaning…so I wish you well on this journey of exploring ways we can live fully, preventing what Richard and Steve call, RUSTOUT.

“I can’t believe you gave your child up to your ex.”

“I would never be able to give up my child.”

“How do you live without your child?”

For some reason as a single mom, these are the things I’ve heard in the past 6 months, since my son is being raised by his father in Georgia.

I find it fascinating that for some reason if the roles were reversed, the public would have much empathy for the man, that he wasn’t with his child any more.  But for some reason I’m ridiculed for “giving my child up.”

For the record I didn’t give my child up…giving my child up would to me having him adopted out or something like that.  I believe it’s a beautiful and a wonderful thing that I married a man that, even though we couldn’t make our marriage work, that he wants to be involved in parenting and that’s more than many situations out there.

So this post isn’t to defend or justify my families’ decision to raise our children the way we feel is best for the time being but to give some hope to any single parent out there that at times questions if you made the right decision for your parenting life.

Bring the Facts and the Stats

Ohio State University researchers did a study of teenagers raised by single fathers as well as single moms and they found that there was not much difference at all between the two groups.  They also noted that we (the public) “should really RETHINK the assumption that the sex of a parent plays a critical role in the development of children.”  They went on to saying that it’s not the sex of the parent thats the critical factors but rather differences in income, education and occupation…that often single mothers are at a disadvantage compared with single dads-and concluded that children living with single moms could be more successful if mothers were better off financially.

Ok so this next little bit might be a bit hard to swallow for the single moms out there-but PLEASE remember this is just to open the eyes of those who judge woman-like me-who have decided it’s best for their child to be raised by fathers.  Please remember I am also a single mom still raising my 7 year old daughter.

“Statistics for children from fatherless homes are extremely disquieting. These children are five times more likely to commit suicide, 32 times more likely to run away from home, nine times more likely to drop out of school, 10 times more likely to become substance abusers and 20 times more likely to end up in prison.” (stat exactly quoted from http://www.mrdadtastic.com/2010/03/10/single-father-statistics.html)

So, I say all that NOT to bash single moms or dads but to just bring up that our mind can create what we think might be the best for the “world” in regards to parenting…and when it comes down to brass tax it TOTALLY depends on the situation.  I know my daughter wont fall into those less than appealing stats but come on people, if you cast stones, judge others, without walking a mile in their shoes then SHUT YOUR PIE HOLE.  The best way to bring more peace into the world and into our lives is to just be observant, interested maybe in lifestyle differences, but certainly there is no good in harboring anger for other people and the way they live-THAT IS THE THOUGHT PROCESS THAT CREATES WARS.

Who’s Been Raised By Single Parents

I also wanted to share a small list of people that we all are familiar with that were raised by single parents:

Athletes:

Warrick Dun – Atlanta falcons running back

Ricky Henderson – Baseball great who is said to keep pitchers up all night.

Michael Phelps – Olympic Gold Medalist

Politicians:

Alexander Haig Jr. former White House Chief of Staff and Secretary of State

Barack Obama

Bill Clinton

Celebreties:

Ed Bradley CBSTV news corrispondant and co-editor of 60 minutes

Bill Cosby

Tom Cruise

Christina Aguilera

Julia Roberts

Demi Moore

Alicia Keys

Angelina Jolie

Matt LeBlanc

So there is hope for any parent who is raising their child that regardless if your child becomes famous or rules a county, that your child can lead a wonderful life in many shapes or forms.  That parenting is one of the most challenging rides, regardless if you are a two parent household or not.  There are too many support groups, workshops, websites, buddy programs, books, etc that help parents along this journey to provide the “best” upbringing possible.

I know that each of us are born Divine, Whole & BEAUTIFUL…it’s the crap of life that we ALLOW to cloud that-which can happen no matter the situation if we allow our minds and preconceptions to do so.  HOWEVER, I do know that regardless of socioeconomic circumstances that children can be in touch with that Divine love and beauty and share that with others.  That’s not an outcome of a single mom, single dad, or two parents household-that’s a personal decision & way of life.

Stories are Different for Every Person & Every Situation

It’s a known fact that two children can be raised in the exact same environment and one goes to be a huge success in the world and the other in jail…what it boils down to is each individual has choices to make, especially as an adult in how we look at the world around us.  We can either view our “less than optimal” childhood/life as an excuse, blaming our parent (s), or we can look at every situation as a gift from our angels to make us who we are today.

I heard a story of a man who was raised by an alcoholic mother his entire life his mom was drunk…he hated her for that in his youth but once he was older he realized had it not been for his mom being an alcoholic that he wouldn’t have learned about forgiveness and empathy…there really is a gift in all situations if we choose to look at things that way.

Life is Our Divine Recipe

Begin with a father who should be a stand up comedian, one who uses reverse psychology to get what he wants and is also a man who is a marketing genius and loves business, money and real estate.

Add a mother who is beautiful, fit and healthy from head to toe and someone who often appears to be too perfect.

Knead in a bit of child molestation by a friend of the family and a relative-that striped me of innocence.

Sprinkle in the hatred of high school and my skinny self that always felt left out of the “cool crowd”.

Throw in a massive passion and desire to play indoor volleyball-seemed to be the only thing that kept me in school.

Mix in many years of drugs, alcohol and dancing my ass of at any party, rave, house, yard, etc.

Then add a surprise spoonful of pregnancy…a divorce 2 years later.

Fold in a chance meeting on a red eye flight of my soon to be my second ex-husband, Abraham.

Bring in two step kids and our son together soon to follow, Parker

Combine that with my strong desire to live on a farm, with chickens that’s near a body of water and live sustainably.

Add a love for yoga & meditation and health & wellness, bake at 350 degrees for 31 years…meet Sharla, your energetic, enthusiastic, often loud, but awesome leader of a woman who loves nature and being apart of the transformation of her own life and the lives around her!!!

What’s Your Recipe?

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31 years ago on Friday December 14th, 1979 I took my first breathes and was held by my amazing parents.  I’m sure there was a flood of mixed emotions, being that I was the first child and a girl to boot.  So, as I celebrate my 31st birthday it’s a time to reflect on the last year of my life-my how life has changed in 12 short months.

I have been devoted to my personal and spiritual growth every day.  Always reading, writing, watching, or learning from someone who’s got something to teach, that will in essence help bring me closer to my Divinity-shedding away any light that’s sometimes hidden.  I made one of the best decisions of my life, to enroll in Yoga Teacher Training at Holy Cow Yoga a couple months before the summer started.  Classes started in June and I will be finished in February of 2011.  This class is helping me fulfill my life’s purpose, of being a spiritual teacher.  I’m so thankful to those who have helped and supported me on this path and continue to do so.

And as most of you know in July of this year, my husband and I split…and although that was a tough decision it wasn’t as tough as making the decision to have my son live with my husband and my daughter with me.  Typically, I would expect lots of judgment from people on this subject, but I feel that my friends and readers understand that unless you are in my shoes there is so reason to cast stones or pass judgement-for everyone’s life and personal decisions are just that-personal.

Needless to say the relationship between my daughter and I has been more than strengthened this year with all the transition going on.  It’s a beautiful thing.  I’m not saying parenting is always bliss, because at times it’s even more challenging, being single now, but for the most part I see how my daughter is growing as a compassionate human being and I love that.

This year I officially started Gravity Junction, a web design and social media management company.  This really happened hap-hazardly after a fews years of just nerding out basically-it’s now turned into a great business.  I have a team of people that help me all over the world but one of my favorite people to work with is Josh Whitney , he’s more than a web designer, and amazing graphic artist (who designed my logos for Gravity Junction), he’s a fantastic friend who really encouraged me and supported me, still does, in launching Gravity Junction. Thank you Joshua!

Just a couple weeks or so ago though I’ve launched a project that I’ve wanted to do for some time now, publish a book.  So with the encouragement of friend and primarily my dad I’ve put the project in motion.  It’s called, “Many Paths, One Love.” It’s a compilation of short stories, poems, pictures, and illustrations of people all over the world-sharing their personal story of their life’s path.  It’s a super exciting project that I’m pleased is well on it’s way.  If you want to be in the book, CLICK HERE to get details.

Over the past 7 months I must say one of the biggest changes in my life has been in my health life.  I’ve obviously been passionate about health for going on 10 years now, to some degree.  It’s been a huge focus of mine the past 4 years or so and really since I began Yoga Teacher Training I’ve really slowed down long enough, and developed a closer relationship with my body that’s allowed me to really be a more conscious eater.  I’m a vegetarian, with the occasional bit of seafood or chicken (but cutting those out too).  I also took the plunge for one week and ate 100% RAW.  That was empowering and my god did my body feel amazing or what.    I eventually would love to eat all raw, it’s just not the right time.  I would have to say that two movies I highly recommend watching if you at all care about your body, are two movies that made a HUGE impact on me are The Beautiful Truth and the other is, Food Matters.  And finally in regards to health I hardly touch alcohol any more-my body just doesn’t like it when I even think about drinking.  No matter if it’s meat, processed foods or alcohol we all know too much of those things isn’t good for us; but I also am not dogmatic about these things in my life-I don’t want them to have me “under a spell” or something-so occasionally I will partake and then do my best not to judge myself afterwards.  ”We are all going to die anyways” Wayne Dyer stated once…but I want to live a long time and be super active in that time-hence all my passion around health and wellness.

Most recently, I’m so appreciative of finding my new spiritual home at the Unitarian Church of Charleston. Yes, that’s right, you heard me…Sharla is going to church on a regular basis.  In fact it’s one of the most exciting things in my life right now…I NEVER thought I would be a church goer, I thought surly there wasn’t a place where this hippie living, “city farm” girl, who loves Shamanic and Native American Ceremonies, and enjoys Kirtans of Indian Influence would ever find a church that supported that-but I did.  This church and the people in it really do embrace ALL walks of life, all lifestyles and is dedicated to social justice.  It’s a very liberal community where I feel like home.

More Than Grateful

I feel super blessed to be living my life for no greater reason than the sweet smell of life is BLISS.

However, I have to say that friendships near and far have meant a ton to me this past year.  I have reached across the country to new friends through social media that have opened my heart and truly been a cheerleader the past few months.  Shikha Prasad, Cheryl Coffin-Laugalys, Shanna Krystalyn-Grace Highsmight are three bright shinning lights I look forward to so much.  Then there’s Ms. Ginger Wilson Deleon who in the most auspicious way came into my life through social media but we’ve actually spent time together with our families and plan to again in a week or so.  She’s a beautiful person inside and out, on a fantastic journey of growth-not to mention she’s a great mom and sister!

I have to give props to my brother, Bryant and his two roomies, Brian Parker and Stephen Maraist for opening up their home to me one weekend a month for the past 7 months-so that I can be close to my Yoga Teacher Training.  These three are an incredible bunch of guys who make me laugh-much respect. (ps…hopefully yall can wash the blankets again before I come next month-that was so nice not to smell like dog last month-lol….love you all!)

Then there is the great group of people that make up the Dream Team for The Positive World…Michael Catlow, Ashley Dangerfield, Maggie Deller & Blaine Parks.  These 4 people have some of the biggest hearts on the planet and are doing their life’s work in building an organization that is going to effect millions and millions of people in the most amazing way…truly inspiring.

I am very grateful for Jonathan Parker and Danny Vulin who have been some of the greatest listeners and friends in the darkest of hours.  To my two closest and most beautiful friends Kim Melia & Jana Fleming, I know my readers and the world knows how much I appreciate the two of you and the impact you have on my life.

To my sergeant parents, wonderful friends and awesome neighbors, Chris & Don Langdon.  They have always treated me wonderfully, but over the past 6 month their care and concern for my family’s well being has been taken to a whole other level.  I feel like I have real live guardian angels watching out for my family and my property all the time…it’s a wonderful thing.

And I would be remised if I didn’t through in the two people that seem to stand by me no matter what hurricane is thrashing against the shores of my life, my parents.  They brought me in this world and at times I know they would like to take me out, (well hopefully not-but I thought I would throw in the cliché that everyone else uses), but seriously they have been great supporters, awesome sounding boards, and helped me on this journey of being single again.

The Future is Ahead

Although this has been a very wonderful year, it’s also brought much transition, grief and heartache.  All of which I don’t wish never happened, for I know that all of this going on in my life is my Divine recipe.  That no matter what the Universe is always doing things to bring my highest good.  I am appreciative of all the life experiences I’m gaining right now, for I know it will serve me in serving others for the rest of my life.

Thanks you to my readers for being interested in my life’s journey to stay with me during all this transition in my life.  You’ve given me so many smiles with your comments, emails and reposts.  Although I started this blog just because I’m bit of a nerd and enjoy writing, I can’t thank you enough for pouring into me just by reading and being apart of this Awakening to Natural Balance Blog and Journey.

What a Great Place

Ok this might be the first time in my blogging history that I’ve ever promoted a store like I’m going to here, so you know it must be incredible.  This month’s issue of Natural Awakenings had some amazing articles AS always but I noticed on the first page or so a short but very interesting article on a new shop that opened up in the Summerville, area.  As most of you know too, I do not like to shop at all-well, not until now.

I haven’t liked to shop for many different reason but let me tell you I’m so thankful for having read that article and making an effort today in my errands to stopping in to this amazing place.

Nestled on a quiet street in downtown Summerville, sits a historic house that’s warm and inviting from very first glance.  As I trotted up the stairs not exactly sure of what the inside would hold, I opened the door only to be greeted by one of the most friendly, positive, unconditionally accepting woman with a British accent.  The store’s walls were a wonderful shade of green, one of my favorites actually.  The shop was filled with so many different items, most locally made or grown-with some clothing from Bali (and who doesn’t love Bali).

What’s on the Inside of Simple to Sublime?

Samantha is proud owner of this beautiful boutique-and it is beautiful, called Simple to Sublime. She’s only been open since October and has done very well already for those who have found her.  Samantha started making her own line of feel good products that are chemical free because she knew the importance of not having chemicals on, in or around her family-but there wasn’t much available years ago.  Outside of her products not containing any chemicals, they are inexpensive and smell wonderful.

Her boutique those is filled with way more than her Samantharoma Line of Products.  I was first drawn to the two sided display that had UNIQUE stocking stuffers all under $10.  The display was draped with items like miniature candles that were only $4 and made me melt because their scent was so amazing.  Small bamboo and recycled plastic bottle washcloths that were so soft you could just sit and rub your face with them all day long.  There were recycled cute change purses for kids or adults.  She even had BPA free triple blade recycled razors and blades for refills.  There was tons more on this rack that anyone could seriously pick out a half a dozen or so small items and know that the stocking would be filled with unique gifts, that support mother earth and promote health from a natural standpoint.

The rest of the shop had more than amazing items, from yoga supplies, aprons, soy candles, jewelry, decorations for the home, even spices made locally, kids toiletry products, teen natural facial products, and so much more I could go on for days.

What I adored about this place was so much.  First Samantha is a bubbly woman who has her heart in the right place and is so outgoing and personal, she brought a sense of home to me.  The boutique itself promotes all the right things in my opinion and is decorated cute as a button.  This is a PERFECT place for any man to find great gifts for any woman.  It’s a great place for parents to shop for the kids stocking stuffers.  It’s a wonderful place for women to buy for their friends and family or to PAMPER THEMSELVES.

There was so much thought that went into putting this boutique together and so many local artisans that put their heart into their work that the entire boutique is just filled with the most fantastic energy around.

I highly recommend checking her out this year.

You can find her website HERE.  On Facebook HERE.  Or her Chemical Free Product Line HERE.

Weather you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah or Kwanzaa, I think you will agree that as the years have passed there is a distinct trend that seems to have been growing-but possibly this year shrinking…that is BUYING PRESENTS.  I’m speaking to the masses in this post, you may be different…but I had a conversation with my good friend a couple years ago and she mentioned something to me that was rather profound yet oh so obvious too.  As humans that live in the US in particular, we used to be refereed to as CITIZENS.  I’m not sure if you recall the last time that you personally were referred to as a citizen but it wasn’t in the near past and maybe never.  We now are referred to as CONSUMERS.  In magazines, commercials, tv shows, movies, etc…the human race is now considered CONSUMERS!!!  HOW DID WE GET THIS WAY???

Well I don’t want to go on a tangent on how we got this way, I think in short  you know as well as I do that it was primarily out of selfishness and greed that this over time has gotten to the point that it is.  As a business woman I can see these individual’s perspectives…but standing on the other side of it I also see where over time the meaning has totally lost it’s way during the holiday season.

People feel pressured to buy gifts for their family.  People will call into the radio stations with their family’s sad story that their kids wont get an x-box, or latest whatever is popular at the time.  If we ever slowed down to think that maybe, just maybe we don’t really need those items.  The items so many people feel pressured to buy end up being used for a couple days then found stuffed in the back of the closet never to be seen again until spring cleaning, or worse yet might even end up in the trash…WHY IS THIS???

MOST of the items people buy for others have little to no meaning.

This was really brought to my attention recently by a friend of mine who’s divorced and has two boys.  His ex wife’s family is pretty well off and they usually go “all out” on Christmas-getting the boys a slug of toys.  He is facing major financial challenges, like so many out there, including myself.  This year was his year for the children to spend the actual day of Christmas with him; he was feeling sad and questioning whether he should allow his wife to have the kids because he felt like he couldn’t “match” what his ex wife and her family would do for the boys.  I about wanted to scream, cry and punch something when I heard this….HOW SERIOUSLY DID WE LET COMMERCIALISM dictate such a wonderful holiday?????????  My friend shouldn’t feel bad AT ALL for not being able to lavish his kids with meaningless gifts-those kids wont remember what they got 5 years from now unless it means something and makes a positive impact.

How To Bring Meaning Back into the Holiday Season and Send Santa on a Hiatus

So, lets go back to my friend with the two boys…what can he do as a parent to bring more meaning into his celebration of Christmas with his boys, that allows him to give seriously meaningful gifts, that don’t cost a lot, that his boys will more than likely remember for the rest of their lives-unlike the crap gifts from the stores that can cost an arm and a leg???

Here are  some suggestions I have for ANYONE, these ideas can work with children or adults with minor modifications to either.  But it’s all about taking the pressure of buying and looking around at what you already have or could create and give from the heart…and NO you mean out there, I’m NOT talking about getting the sewing machine out and making clothes (although for those who are crafty like that-it’s not a bad idea).

Here are some MEANINGFUL gifts to give during the holidays.

=> First let me say that kids and adults alike LOVE scavenger hunts-so any of the gifts I mention could be turned into a game.  Where you hide the gift and wrap up the first clue, which starts the scavenger hunt for the real gift.  This adds a playful game and can really spice up whatever you do decide to give.

1. Create your own gift certificate or gift certificate booklet.
   =>Here are some ideas for kids: mom/dad clean your room, mom/dad do your homework, eat out at favorite restaurant, movie night at the dollar theater, picnic outside (during the warmer months), playground date, slumber party, stay up late, cook favorite meal, dessert at home/at ice cream shop, etc.
   =>Here are some ideas for adults: date night, movie night, hand car wash, candle lit dinner, free babysitting, wash dishes, vacuum, laundry, sleep in late, walk in the park, picnic, etc.
2. Take an used glass jar (small or large) and wrap with tissue paper & string to create a decorative pencil/pen holder (often times kids have paint, so you could paint the jar and create a funky design on it as another option).
3. Take an old shoebox, wrap it in whatever festive paper you would like.  Then take index cards or cut small pieces of paper to about the same time.  Write dozens of things that you adore about that person.  This gift they can look at any time of the year and remember how much you love them.
4. Grandparents love the kid’s artwork-so you could create a nice calendar with the artwork using card stock and yarn to hold together.
5. You can also look around the house to see if there are things you aren’t using and regift them to your kids.  For instance I have an old laptop that just needs a power cord, perhaps an ipod you don’t use any more, maybe you have a wallet or purse that your kid would enjoy, even your old childhood books you could regift and tell a great story of what that book meant to you as a child.
6. Kids LOVE playing games-so using random arts and crafts around the house, some pictures, and a poster board you could create your very own board game.
7. Make “shooting” stars to hang above the bed.  Using card stock or poster board, cut stars out & decorate, punch a hole and use thread or fishing lure to hang from the ceiling.
8. Coffee Can Containers: you can take any coffee can, wrap it, decorate it.  Men especially enjoy these, they work well for holding nails, screws, etc.
9. Homemade Paperweight.  Take a larger size rock and decoupage it.
10. Cooking is always a hit.  You can make banana nut bread, cookies, brownies and but in a nice container.
11. Holiday Pine Cones.  Pick up pine cones in your yard, spray with craft glue and sprinkle with glitter.
12. Create a blanket out of old clothes and sheets of batting.  I did this last year for my daughter and she loved the blanket; she’d outgrown many dresses so I cut them apart, sewed them together (and they weren’t straight-it’s a “collage” of sorts), put batting in between the two sides and bam!

Other Ideas to Make the Holidays Special

Creating ceremonies with your kids or whole family really make the holidays meaningful and special.  Since I can remember my family has made TONS of sausage and cheese balls as our family tradition.  YES, you heard me right-SAUSAGE BALLS.  I know, what you are thinking, “but Sharla eats healthy-how can she eat sausage balls.”  Well, this is a twice a year thing (we make them at Thanksgiving as well.  And there are many healthy alternative ingredients we now use, like chicken sausage, coconut flour, organic rice flour and goat’s cheese.  So, the whole point here is not the details but that our entire family goes into the kitchen and helps make them-it’s something all of us kids and grandkids and I’m assuming my parents look forward to.

You can also keep a family notebook where you write in it what you are thankful for that year and what you would like to see happen by next holiday season.

Create an alter for your children.  This is a special table, in their room, that’s got maybe a special rock they like, feathers, any small trinket box, maybe a candle or incense burner (your kids are older), with maybe a picture of them or the family.  Children usually love to make changes in their room and this is something very special for them.

Being thankful for what we do have is always important.  Getting away from feeling the needs to over buy and over consume seems like a daunting task, especially if that’s what your kids are used to.  So, creating a process every year where during the holiday season you clean out the kid’s rooms and have a bag/box for things to give away is always great.  Then take it a step further and actually bring your kids with you to deliver them to a local orphanage, homeless shelter, or needy family.  This will show your kids what real suffering can be like and that no matter what we should be thankful for the family that we do have and the roof over our head that we do have because some aren’t as luck.

Bring the neighborhood together.  Often times we live close to people for years yet never know their names much less hang out with them.  So this year maybe make some simple christmas cards and hand deliver them to houses on your street.  Bringing even a card to someone can light up their day and bring a smile to their face.

Christmas Tree Creations.  Kids love to do arts and crafts…so maybe this year allow them to create a small tree that they can decorate with items found in the house.  This allows for their creative side to be nurtured and again creates a type of ceremony or tradition that kids love.

Give From The Heart-No Need to Depend on Santa for Shinny Gifts This Year

I know that everything happens for a reason, I do NOT believe that this recession is a horrible thing.  SURE, there are super uncomfortable spots but when I step back this could be one of the greatest platforms that us a citizens converted to consumers in the past few decades have a HUGE opportunity to shift into a place of realizing what’s really important.  Of taking this time in economic woes, get creative, crafty, and serious about creating new traditions, new “trends” and just a new way of existing, especially during the holidays (or even celebrating birthdays).

There is NO NEED to feel pressure what so ever to give gifts, just for the sake of meaningless giving-or to win up on the ex-wife/husband.  There is NO NEED to buy things that wont bring an everlasting joy that the receiver will remember forever.  More doesn’t mean it means more.  Sometimes giving less, but really spending time creating it or just thinking about an appropriate meaningful gift means way more long term.  I think that so often we give gifts just because “it’s the thing to do,” that it’s easy to move away from actually methodically giving something tangible or intangible from the heart during the holidays.

So make this year a year to remember for your friends and family…ask the angels for guidance of ideas that help you give from the heart this year.

Comment below if you have a tradition or gift that you want to share with the other readers that might help this year.

I treasure each and every one of you CITIZENS who are stepping away from our unconscious “COSUMERISM.”

NAMASTE.

THANK YOU Positive Charleston

What an honor it was to have been asked to speak tonight at the Round Table Discussion amongst such incredible human beings!!!

I’m so thankful to have manifested the contacts in my life that have lead to me to this point.  I’m forever grateful for meeting each and every one of you that I hope to connect with again very soon.

I am excited to share with one of you a FREE CD from Jana Fleming on Meditation, which has been an instrumental tool in my life that has brought me to where I am today.

Enter below to win Jana’s CD and EVERY one of you will get MY personal free gift to all my subscribers.

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