YouTube sensationalist, Hannah Hart came on the scene years ago.

I couldn’t seem to get enough of her videos, that were basically her getting drunk in the kitchen while doing something that occasionally resembled cooking, kinda.

I adored her personality and even though I LOVE to cook, it didn’t matter that she basically knew nothing about it.

I never judged Hannah for being an out of the closet lesbian, or even being a horrible cook, and I never faulted her for being drunk and recording every bit of it….

Yet several months ago, I felt my first feelings of “hate” for Hannah.

Working from my couch on my laptop, I saw her first CABLE television promo for her new Food Network TV Show…where now she was getting paid to just be her hilarious self, traveling the world, eating and commenting on the food she ate.

That is my dream job, but now Hannah Hart has it and I don’t.

Painful Pleasure

My love for eating, food and cooking has been no secret.

What may be a secret is that for over a decade, I’ve dreamed about having my own cooking show…even if it was on YouTube…Hannah Hart beat me to it.

Why didn’t I do something about it years ago???

I’ve questioned my ability to cook, not being formally trained.
I’ve questioned if people would even want to hear what I would share.
I’ve questioned my personality, would I be good enough.
I’ve made excuses of having no time.
I’ve made excuses of the show not making enough money from the get go, so I scratched it.

I don’t know Hannah personally, I don’t know if she ever really had a plan when she launched her first YouTube video…maybe she did, maybe she didn’t.

Point was, regardless of a plan, she just kept being herself and filming it along the way…

and now…

It’s paid off big time for her.

She’s got her own clothing and accessories online and her own show on Food Network TV.

All her success got under my ass so much, that along with several loving conversations my man and I had…

I pushed myself not to jump in front of a camera, but to at least take the step I felt was right for me in launching this blog.

That is how this site you are reading right now, Passport to Living, got started.

One commercial that finally pressed me to get off my excuse-itis ass, and DO something about it.

I know I’m not doing videos currently, but one day hope to.

I know I’m not sponsored or produced by any large corporation, or even a small one at this point, but maybe someday I will.

Point is, I took my anger and frustration of seeing someone else live their dream and I started to build my own…

Don’t bitch without a fix I often say…well, I had to take my own advise.

Passport to Living was born, so that if nothing else I can find joy in sharing my life’s adventures through food, drinking and traveling.

If just one person learns the smallest thing, or maybe feels hope for the first time in a long time, or begins to dream again, or hell if they even smile or laugh at something I’ve shared, I’ve done my part! 

And even if not one person reads this, or cares what I have to share, then maybe my kids will one day look back and be able to learn more about the woman their mom is.

Thank you Hannah for living your dream, for being exactly who you are, with no shame in sharing that with the world. 

You are a great painful pleasure in my life and you inspire me.  Keep doing your thing!

 #IamEnough

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