My Heart is Breaking Open
To walk by a flower and not think that it is apart of us is naive. To think the air you breathe hasn’t passed through your “enemy” and best friends without hesitation is absurd. To look at a rainbow and think it came from nothing is insane. To think that the human heart can somehow be sealed up in a box and never feel pain, is well, ridiculous.
I’m no saint like Amma , the Hugging Mother, and no where near Mother Teresa…I am both Divine and Diabolical as Deepak says. I am a sinner and saint. I am love and war. I am peace and destruction. I am all that is, all that has been, and all that will be.
It’s said that pain is inevitable but suffering is optional. Right now I’m in a lot of pain off and on, seems like a roller coaster of sorts. Feeling my heart is breaking open to that which is love and pain all at the same time…interesting to say the least.
My heart, my soul, knows no limits and has the answers to the questions it’s given…it’s my ego that hinders that flow of God consciousness and wisdom. Letting go of that ego, allowing the Truth to emerge is sometimes very painful, at least for me, right now. Discovering the parts of my life that have been a lie, a lie to myself and to others around me. I know I’m not the only one out there that has kept lies inside and then when they emerge its often very painful to face-but ultimately so liberating to accept what really is, that’s freedom-when the hearts breaks open.
Where is the Rainbow?
Although right now pieces of me are dying-the parts of my life that don’t serve me any more…There are also lies I’ve been telling myself that are surfacing and the Truth is shining through-and at the same time new and exciting life is being poured into me and opportunity, creativity and wisdom is are flowing through my window. The capacity to feel love and give love is expanding in my life right now.
So through this storm in my life where everything does seem to be swirling around me at times like a hurricane, after most storms the most amazing rainbow appears that thanks the rain for watering the earth. That thanks the sun for taking a break and coming back and shining ever so bright. That thanks humanity for embracing those storms, moving through them and seeking the light on the other side of the storm.
Rainbows are in my future, however staying fully present in the Now is what my intention is, to learn and grow through this time in my life that eventually I will have healed these wounds that have been in me for 12 years…it’s time for the rain to slow down and the Rainbow to emerge-THIS OR SOMETHING GREATER!
